Preferred Pronouns & Jesus
A brief Biblical case against using one's preferred pronouns
As a pastor, I get many questions. In recent days, I’ve gotten the question, “Are there any circumstances where Christians should use the preferred pronouns of their non-Christian loved ones or friends?”
Answer: Christians should not use one’s “preferred” pronouns in any situation.
The Biblical basis for my argument is:
Matthew 19: Jesus’ positive affirmation of the gender binary.
Exodus 20: God’s command to not bear false witness against our neighbor.
Jesus & Gender
"Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’"? (Matthew 19:4–5)
This is Jesus echoing and quoting from Genesis chapter 2. From the beginning, gender or sex was determined by God. Part of what it means for man to be made in the image of God is to be created as male and female—both sexes are equal and dependent upon one another but beautifully distinct.
Mankind by nature, then, is either male or female determined at birth by their sex and chromosomal makeup. In other words, there is no such thing as gender fluidity; therefore, personal pronouns, by nature, cannot be preferential. God Himself uses the pronouns “he” or “she” to refer only to those who received that particular sex at birth.
Bearing False Witness
Flowing from this, when God gives His law in Exodus 20, He commands His people not to bear false witness against their neighbor. If the second table of the law is our duty to our fellow man, and His law guides us in how we love our neighbor, it follows that it is inherently unloving to perpetuate someone else’s delusion regarding their gender and inner feelings. To do so would be to bear false witness. Plus, even if you assure the person by saying, “I’ll use your preferred pronouns even though I do not agree with your lifestyle,” that statement would be unacceptable because to be against their lifestyle or inner feelings, they claim, is to be against them as an individual since they tether their identity to their sexual feelings.
Furthermore, In God’s civil law to Israel, we see the outflow of the gender binary God set up in the creation order as it relates to cross-dressing.
“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God" (Deuteronomy 22:5).
If a man wearing a woman’s garment was an abomination to the Lord, It’s safe to conclude that to change your pronouns to “she” when you’re a “he” is equally abominable. If something like this is an abomination to the Lord, and I affirm someone in that delusion, then I perpetuate something that is bringing the wrath of God upon that person. Again, this is unloving.
A quick word about people born Intersex or Sexually Indeterminate:
We ought to be compassionate and gracious when encountering these hard situations. Nevertheless, this is a medical anomaly. The fact is, most people in our day who are asking to have their preferred pronouns used are not those who are born intersex. In a fallen world, of course, we can expect chromosomal flaws and intersex people. At that point, it’s a conversation to be had with that person with compassion and gentleness. I would say the person’s life story, the guardians who raised them, and medical history (such as which sexual organs were more prominent and functional) should be considered rather than just what they “feel” they are. Our feelings can misfire.
We should not use the example of a medical anomaly to make void the Word of God or “negate objective categories of personhood.” 1
Conclusion
The days ahead are not going to be easy. I’m burdened for fellow brothers and sisters who have to deal with such difficulties, especially with immediate family members and co-workers. But to use their “preferred” pronouns would bear false witness against those we love, perpetuating a lie that they are trapped in and need to be rescued from. And worst of all, we would be untrue to our Master, who only gave two genders to mankind. May our trust in God’s truth be fruitful and cause us to give gospel hope to those trapped in their sin.
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Gordan, Christopher, The New Reformation Catechism on Human Sexuality p. 14