Exploring Boston: Tormented with Temptation
It's bound to happen. But look at the response of this pastor...
Are pastors and ministers tormented with temptation?
The enemy of our souls is relentless and sometimes turns up the heat on those who regularly handle God’s Word.
Thomas Boston, in this relatable quote, honestly shares the burdens of his heart as it relates to the reality of his indwelling sin. May God cause us to acknowledge the same reality and find the same comfort that Boston Himself found.
“Last night this was fixed on my heart, as the only way how to get clearly through; and it answers to a confounding sense of my own unholiness, as well as weakness for writing, which I was struck with at the reading of the Doctor’s letters: therefore this day I gave myself to prayer and meditation. I found last night that it was no easy thing to part with sin; and this morning the first impression on my spirit was that of my utter inability to put away sin. And I think I never had a more solid and serious sense of the absolute need of Christ for sanctification this day.
I saw it was as easy for a rock to raise itself, as for me to raise my heart from sin to holiness. I endeavoured to search myself, renew my repentance, and make confession; and solemnly laid over on the Lord Jesus Christ all my sins which I knew, and all that I knew not, that by his obedience, death, and sufferings, he might bear them all away. And having further examined myself, I renewed my covenant with God, taking God in Christ for my God, the Father of the Lord Jesus Christ for my Father, the Son for my Redeemer, and the Holy Ghost for my sanctifier; even that one God in three persons, who is in Christ reconciling the world to himself; taking Christ himself for my head and Husband; renouncing my own wisdom, and taking him for my Prophet to learn of him, and receive from him, the light of life; renouncing my own righteousness, and laying the whole stress of my soul on his merits and righteousness, and taking him for my Intercessor and Advocate; renouncing all my idols, and taking him for my King, and Head of influence for sanctification to my soul; resolving, in his strength, henceforth to hang on him for sanctification, to watch and more narrowly observe providences, and the way of his dealing with me. Personal holiness was the great thing in my view.
After I set myself to cry to the Lord, in respect of the public, the case of the congregation, and my family. Towards the close of the day, I began to take thought particularly of the matter in hand, and set myself to examine myself as to the singleness of my intentions. I considered, that if I were led by base ends, it behoved to be either worldly profit, or a name. As for profit, my conscience bare me witness, that I would be content to be a loser, so that they might be serviceable; and as to a name, though at the bar of the law I dare not plead Not guilty, yet at the bar of the gospel I can appeal to God, that it is not a name to myself, but the honour of God that sways with me; and that on these grounds…”1
Take heart, dear pastor, leader, and disciple. Boston helpfully reminds us that, in the very moment of temptation, Christ stands firm and sides with you against your sin as your Prophet, Priest, and King. You can depend upon Him for your righteousness. We are unable, but Christ is; thankfully, He dwells within us.
“And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”
1 Corinthians 1:30–31
Boston, Thomas. 1852. The Whole Works of Thomas Boston: Memoirs of the Life, Times, and Writings of the Rev. Thomas Boston. Edited by Samuel M‘Millan. Vol. 12. Aberdeen: George and Robert King.