Dear Failure,
I’m a sunken axehead. And so are you.
All of us who are followers of Jesus can wrestle with the shame of our past sins and failures or even our current ones.
In the movie Spirited, a musical spin-off of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, Scrooge (Will Ferrell) asks,
“Am I forever unredeemable?
Can I ever overcome all the wrongs I'm running from?
Can my worst be left behind
And do I deserve to find
There's a soul who could see any good in me?
Or will I only ever be unredeemable?”
Feelings of shame often give rise to that powerful question: Will I only ever be unredeemable?
Answer: Yes.
And I cannot redeem myself.
We live in a world that would like to suppress that fact. No one wants to admit that failure, sin, and weakness are inevitable in a fallen world. “Isn’t accepting this just going to topple my self-esteem?” You may think. The culture will tell you that there’s good news, though: You can lay these thoughts aside in exchange for kind thoughts toward yourself— Your inner goodness will come out on top and redeem your failures. We’re told, “You are enough.” But according to who’s standard? Yours? Your loved ones? “You are enough” is not good news because you are not strong enough to bear the weight of failing to live up to your standards, other’s standards, or God’s standards.
But there is real good news…
Take a look at this obscure passage of scripture:
2 Kings 6:4–7 (ESV): So he went with them. And when they came to the Jordan, they cut down trees. But as one was felling a log, his axe head fell into the water, and he cried out, “Alas, my master! It was borrowed.” Then the man of God said, “Where did it fall?” When he showed him the place, he cut off a stick and threw it in there and made the iron float. And he said, “Take it up.” So he reached out his hand and took it.
In this passage, we have a miracle. Elisha (the man of God) had just succeeded the great prophet Elijah. The school of the prophets hoped to build a secure dwelling for themselves by the Jordan River and as they were cutting down trees for material, an axe head flew off the handle and sank to the bottom. Elisha then does the unexpected…
He throws a stick on the top of the water, and this iron axe head floats to the surface and is recovered… needless to say, axe heads don’t float. Ever. What’s more, Elisha could’ve just gotten a new axe, but he didn’t; he miraculously retrieved the old one.
Though Elisha and Elijah did many amazing things, the book of 2 Kings ends with a deep longing unfulfilled. As faithful as they were, the prophets did not turn the tide of Israel’s sin and rebellion.
Here’s the reality: I was that axe head. I was the piece of heavy iron that had sunken to the bottom of the body of water. My heart, which had been irreparably hardened by sin, had drug me down. Not only am I not able to bear the weight of my own failures, but I’ll never be able to bear the weight of the infinite wrath of a holy God against my innumerable sins.
But if you believe in Christ and are currently feeling the weight of failure and sin, remember that Christ retrieved you. We call this “redemption.” He redeemed or bought back His stubborn-hearted, stiff-necked people. And it wasn’t silver or gold that purchased you, but His own precious blood (1 Peter 1:18). He retrieved you at the bottom of your sea of sin and did so with a piece of wood, no, not with a twig, but a cross. The true prophet and King bore your sin in His own body that He may grant you the righteousness achieved during His perfect life. This prophet turned the tide.
That shame you feel because of sin? He bore that on the cross as He died. And three days later, as the sun arose that Sunday morning, the Son rose to triumph over every one of your sins, seal your right standing before Him, and shine brightly the dawn of a New Creation. It truly is finished.
Though sin may cause you to sink at times, He still retrieves you and still redeems you from yourself. His invitation still stands: “Come to Me… and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28).
You don’t overcome shame by loving yourself. You rest in His love for you. So come to Him with your weakness and sin— Your current sin. Come knowing that He doesn’t love a future version of you, He loves you right now. He’ll continually bring you back, build you up, and bolster your faith. He promised He would.
You may be the overly introspective type. I know that’s my tendency. Do you know what you find if you look inward for too long?
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out (Romans 7:18–19 ESV).
But when you look to Christ, you know what you find?
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV).
So you may ask, “Will I only ever be unredeemable?” Outside of Christ? Yes. In everlasting union with Him? No.
Remember, dear saint who is a failure just like me: He didn’t find a new axe head; He retrieved and still retrieves you.